I'm not even sure if I like the flavours in a vindaloo, or I like the challenge more? Either way my reasoning for having one felt purely to tick some boxes. Have lots of sex they say, have a hot curry, eat 56 pineapples in 30 seconds etc. Does any of that work? Who knows. But one thing I do know is that babies come when they are ready.
Cue 4.33am the following morning.
I awoke suddenly instantly cursing my local curry house and blurry eyed searching for my gaviscon tablets. Off to the toilet I waddled hoping I could make it....
Mummy where are you? Mummy? Are you doing a poo? Yes to all the questions you are shouting through the wall at silly o clock son.
After ten minutes I returned to bed and cuddled Ethan, I put the hairdryer on because it's the only noise in the world that makes me feel better when I feel poorly or restless. But Nope,nuh uh, no way I could sit down, back to the toilet for me. I lost my bloody show, i was still not accepting this was labour.
I decided not not to wake Sean at this point as I felt very adamant I was not in labour, it was the vindaloo. Made it to about 5.10 am before messaging my doula to let her know the jury was out, over spiced curry or adorable babe? She was ready. Within 15 minutes I started to get fast and furious lower back pain, I was feeling scared anxious and crowded. I couldn't leave the toilet room, the lights were so bright and the candles too dim, everything was off. I felt grumpy, I felt out of control.
I woke Sean up. I asked him to pump up and prepare the pool. I knew he could sense my distress. Sean is such a calm and wonderful man. He told me to stay present and be calm. The doorbell rang and it was Rachael my doula. Hey Rach!
It was shortly after I decided to get in the pool. It wasn't filled very much but it was enough, it just had to be. Time wasnt hanging around. It was around 5.45am when I soon realised the surges were coming in strong. They lacked in timing or pattern, they lacked in everything Google had ever try to teach me, but why question your own body? why? and oh my goodness EVERYONE STOP GOOGLING , myself included.
I used very vague hypnobirthing breathing through out, mainly because i used an awesome cd which i often forgot to listen to or fell asleep to. I used grunting and visualisation or could i say the visuals used me? i saw lots of things during birth. ,mostly I saw my dad a lot in my mind, his broad northern attitude, his strong accent telling me I'm bat shit for doing this, probably making some vindaloo joke and definitely laughing at the poo drops that I couldn't control that were slowly filling the pool. He got me through that phase. Thanks dad.
I felt Eugenes head move down. thats when i knew that shit was getting real. I decided now was a good time to explore my vagina, see what i could feel in terms of the head and how far. Im so glad i did this, it instantly gave me control and i needed that. My surges at this point were intense and i fe;t the only way through was breathing, grunting when needed and doing what my doula said...
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY BECKAH. These words got me through, I will be forever grateful to my doula,
So around a hour of this maybe less? Eugene wizard was born. I felt my waters pop in the pool and bam then he came, I had 3 surges and he entered earth side, still in his sac with a tear in, it was mind blowing, he was calm, asleep and alive.
I gently waited for his shoulders to come through with another surge and picked him up with my own two hands and brought him to my chest. This moment has been on long play repeat ever since. Ethan came into the room as he was born and we all sat gazing. I did it, we did it. WE DID IT.
Eugene Wizard Hill was born, 7.07 am ( we think) we were all a bit high to check) He was beyond perfect. I stayed in the pool for another 20 mins or so and then remembered to call the hospital who sent out some pretty pissed off but lovely paramedics to cut his cord, followed by a midwife. My placenta was literally farted out seconds before they arrived and was almost caught in the bucket by my awesome partner Sean.
I honestly could not of done this without the support and love of Sean Hill, Ethan Hill or Rachel Stobart my doula and my mum who was by me in my mind the entire time.Thank you to you all.
What a ride man, what a ride!
My advice? GET A DOULA, one you trust, one that gets you, one you will love forever. Find your jam, a pool is mine, i had no idea until i got in it. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.