Man, am I tired this week. Bone tired. I just feel heavy and drowsy and in need of a good duvet. Afternoons are particularly snoozesome, but in all honesty, so are most parts of the day. I sometimes have a window around 10.30am when I am totally on fire, usually after my second cup of tea (no, not decaf — come on people, tea basically tastes like dirty dishwater and its only redeeming feature is the caffeine; it used to be the heat and the caffeine but I don’t often get to drink it hot these days). This window can last anything between ten and, ooooh, perhaps fifteen minutes, when if you catch me, I’m likely to be all over any tasks you can throw my way. Outside of this I have the drive of a sloth and the concentration of a wasp. A winning combination. In my defence, I was woken at 5.15am this morning by my overenthusiastic son shouting: “Mummy, its Christmas!” Unfortunately, it is not Christmas, but he had me fooled for a few seconds. A disappointing start to the day. Despite my best negotiating, he refused to go back to sleep, either in his bed or mine, so it has already been a bloody long morning. Wake ups in the fives are additionally taxing as at that time, CBeebies hasn’t even begun. Gasp. Pre 6am I am forced to choose between watching one of the deafening and offensively colourful commercial kid’s channels, pedalling great hulks of plastic every 20 minutes, or actually interacting with my child. Yes, I could make good use of the time and take him on an outing to a 24 hour supermarket, organise a picnic breakfast on the beach, or bake some wholemeal treats together, but I am frankly too exhausted to even contemplate any of these options, let alone carry them out. Today, my main ambition for the day has been to make it through to nursery drop off time and then get a nap at some point. Aim high, that’s what I say. I have aspirations for a nap most days but this very rarely materialises. I am “working from home” so today could be my day. Looking forward to bedtime is always a slightly unsettling outlook on which to begin the day and doesn’t really showcase my best self. Yes, yes, life is for living and every day is precious, but some days are just slightly less precious than others and today is one of those. However, a nap could be the answer to all my problems, leaving me feeling refreshed and revitalised. If not a full on nap, at least some kind of rest time. On days like this, any non-nap time feels a bit like swimming in muesli — Cow and Gate My First Muesli with no added salt or sugar (i.e., really shit). So, having dropped my son at nursery, I plan to crack on with work until lunch time and I am then going to snooze for at least an hour. Exciting! I feel as though the baby has had a major growth spurt this week as my belly has become significantly more prominent. This may also be due to excessive Easter egg and hot cross bun consumption but definitely some of it is baby. This growth spurt is certainly a factor in my tiredness and at least makes me feel slightly less guilty for my current lack of energy and enthusiasm, which is usually a major source of guilt. The Catch 22 is that I also feel guilty about the prospect of actually having a nap, which might reverse said lack of energy and enthusiasm. Go figure. It is comforting to realise that a nap is not only in my best interests but also in the best interests of my unborn child. And in being a lazy arsed layabout, I am, in actual fact, demonstrating top notch mothering skills. You’re welcome baby. You can thank me by not trampolining on my bladder for the duration of the nap so that it lasts more than fifteen minutes. One can hope.