This week I am auditioning for the role of Oscar the Grouch. I am starting to get major pangs of impatience and this is making me a bit of a nightmare to live with. After 29 weeks it feels like I have been pregnant for an eternity. In fact, have I ever not been pregnant? Surely I’ve done my time. Having to go another 11, or jeez, maybe 13 more weeks seems pretty unfathomable at the moment.

In general, I am a big fan of a foot rub, but when pregnant it is my catnip. If you want to get on side, offer me a foot massage. Well, maybe only if you’re a licensed professional, otherwise it might be a bit weird. If you’re not a licensed professional, vouchers for establishments employing licensed professionals would be gratefully received. Just saying.

This week we have been living it up in the Isle of Wight. This is holidaying at its most intrepid. I would consider myself as reasonably well travelled and fairly adventurous on the whole, but since having our first son our passports have seen bugger all action. We've indulged in a long weekend in the new forest (ooh la la), another at the Suffolk Center Parcs (get us), and now we're jetting off to sunny Seaview, wait for it, for a whole week.

My Google search terms this week have been as follows: “waters breaking early”; “what does amniotic fluid smell like?”; “week 32 discharge”; “wet knickers in late pregnancy”. It turns out, my waters haven’t broken early and it is indeed quite normal to leak wee in late pregnancy. Oh good.

Brace yourselves for a Theresa May style U turn. I have decided that a homebirth would be the best option for me this time. Cough. Yes, yes, I know this is a little surprising based on previous expressions of opinion. After my week 16 midwife appointment I got all arsey about having a big pink sticker on my notes saying: “You are recommended to have a homebirth”.

My son is two today and this is strangely and unexpectedly very emotional. I feel joyful and proud of the little human he is, reflective and nostalgic that he’s no longer a baby, and somewhat euphoric for actually keeping him alive for two whole years.

Cot built. Check. Car seat installed. Check. Baby clothes washed and folded away. Check. Preparing for birth course completed. Check. We have just done a brilliant birth preparation course with LushTums and already I am feeling a lot more calm and positive about what's to come.

This week I have been frantically nesting, feeling an overwhelming urge to get organised. I have been scouring the house, tackling tasks that have been on the to-do list since January (it’s now August), and generally exhibiting mild obsessive compulsive disorder.

We've done it. We're there. 37 weeks. We have reached the point of watermelon. There are no more fruit based analogies on offer. The baby is now considered "full term". He's cooked and just plumping up in there, using the time to rest and relax, watch movies, read magazines, brush up on his French.

I think I have heard the word "no" approximately 8000 times today. My son is definitely on to us about this new baby lark and is having none of it this week. He's only two so it's easy for me to project in error, but I'm sure he is sensing that something odd is imminent.

I had a pedicure this morning, then a two hour nap. I am now eating a BBQ beef Hula Hoops sandwich — officially winning at maternity leave. I finished work on Friday after a rather frenzied scrabble to get everything I wanted done but have now made it to that dream state where you book in doing bugger all, allow yourself treats and pampering and put your feet up.

So today is my due date. Wow. But when I woke up this morning there were no fanfares, no fireworks, no balloons or bunting. No baby either. As I have read approximately 8000 times in my pregnancy apps over the past few weeks, only 4% of babies arrive on their due date, and so this day is of course fairly nominal. It is actually highly likely that it’s the one day I can relax, safe in the knowledge that I won’t go into labour.

Before I had children I remember vaguely hearing about ‘baby brain’ but I honestly thought it was just one of those patronising things men occasionally say. You know, a little like asking you if it's 'that time of the month' if you show signs of being the slightest bit grumpy. Images sprang to mind of women giving birth to large brains instead of babies, the stuff of nightmares; so I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind. However, when I became pregnant with my first child I suddenly realised that ‘baby brain’ is actually a real thing...

People often throw around the term ‘terrible twos’. It is used to describe a time when toddlers start to assert themselves, wanting to make their own decisions. Unfortunately, at this stage most still struggle to express themselves adequately. The result? Some serious temper tantrums.

The decision to send your baby or child to nursery can be tough for some. Many mothers feel guilty and worry whether they are making the right decision. The fundamental point I must make is that you must stop being so hard on yourself, give yourself a break and look at this with an open mind.

I would like to start with a very warm hello to everyone in the LushTums community! My name is Kim and for several years I've been working as a LushTums pregnancy yoga teacher and a doula in Brighton and Hove, as well as looking after my two daughters. I am very excited to announce that I am now also teaching Postnatal Yoga!

Obviously, I’m not being literal but that overwhelming sense of love you’re “supposed” to get when you see your baby for the first time, it didn’t happen until my son was one-year-old. Even now, looking back I don’t remember much about that first year of my son’s life other than anxiety and crying (him and me).

My journey that eventually led to me becoming a Lushtums Yoga Instructor, began when I was just in my early 20’s. I was living in London and after a series of attacks in which a knife was held to my throat, I was punched in the face and almost forced into the trunk of a car, I developed terrible anxiety- possibly brought on by post traumatic stress (PTSD). I was afraid to leave the house I thought everyone was going to hurt me. Two things got me through it; cognitive behavioural therapy, and yoga.

LushTums Ipswich is branching out! We have had such a fantastically positive response to what we do in Ipswich, so we are so excited to announce we will soon be bringing our happy, healthy and informative approach to pregnancy and birth to mamas-to-be and their birth partners from all around Suffolk!

Ok, so you may have heard the term ‘placenta encapsulation’, but still be confused about how it works, what the benefits are and what it costs (or even what it ACTUALLY is). Well, you’ve come to the right place! Our Lushtums Bristol teacher Nicole has specialised in the preparation of placenta remedies for over 7 years, and is here to explain....