Can toddlers sense pregnancy hormones? If mine can, he’s pretty darn pissed about it. This is my irrational “mumsnet” thought of the day as I collapse in a nauseous, exhausted, emotional heap after a fairly horrific few hours of parenting.

With my first pregnancy I avoided alcohol, blue cheese and unpasteurised cheese, pâté, cured meat, runny eggs, rare steak and caffeine — all the really good stuff. Oh and ibuprofen, which I think also counts as the good stuff now I’m in my thirties and don’t get out as much as I used to.

Ok, I’ve done it. I know I shouldn’t say it but I have. I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of weeks now, and I just couldn’t wait any longer. It feels wrong but now I’ve done it, it feels so right. Don’t judge me but… I’ve bought some bloody maternity jeans.

Morning sickness has ramped up a gear and I feel like I’m perpetually on that pirate ship ride at a travelling fairground. The one where you stop for a moment at the top and think you’re going to be OK, before you face another bilious plunge that sends the wind through your…

At the risk of sounding like a smug bitch, I am on top of the world at the moment. I feel physically much better and emotionally less fragile, which has lifted an enormous weight off my shoulders and made things infinitely better, in stark contrast to the last few fairly horrid weeks.

As a child I was always a lover of fairground rides and would fearlessly relish any opportunity to whoosh through the air or plummet to the ground, whether at a shiny, big theme park or a slightly shabby, local fairground.

This week I had my 16 week check-up, which was my third midwife appointment. So far for this pregnancy, I met with my GP around six weeks and then had an initial meeting with my midwife at eight weeks, followed by the more in depth booking in appointment at ten weeks and then my scan, which happened at 13 weeks. So pretty brilliant and consistent care all in all. God bless the NHS.