My Birthing Wish List

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Hey Lovely Lady,

We’ve put together this Birthing Wish List Template for you to fill in. There will be some things that apply to you and your baby and others that do not. Amend, add and edit as you see fit and share it with the people who will be present at the birth. Have a good read of all the PDF’s found in Your Beautiful Birth Resource Centre and over in our private Facebook group, ask the questions you need to ask from all the various health care professionals and sit and work out what feels best for you and your baby.

Remember, everything has a place and while we can prepare for every eventuality there is another player in the room; your baby. This little being will have their own intentions and will journey into this world in their own way, in their own time.

We can do our best to support them to have the easiest transition into your arms, but sometimes their entrance is not what we might have ‘planned’. So being flexible in your planning, in your mind and in your body can support you in bringing your child into the world.

In our experience, when a mum and her birth partner have consciously prepared for birth, has felt empowered to ask the right questions and made decisions from a place of true awareness, the birthing experience is viewed as an empowering, beautiful and awe-inspiring time!

A useful tool to apply to all the content presented to you or any research you undertake personally, and crucially when you need to make any choices during birth is

B.R.A.I.N:

B = What are the BENEFITS?

R = What are the RISKS?

A = What are the ALTERNATIVES?

I = What does your INTUITION tell you to do?

N = What are the outcomes or possibilities if we do NOTHING?

When faced with a decision, or when at a cross-roads, take a moment to ask yourself and/or your midwife/doctor questions based on the above, to help you make informed choices.

My Birthing Wish List

Name: .........................................................

Due Date: ....................................................

Names & Contact Numbers of Birth Partners:

...........................................................................................................…

...............................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................

Do you want them with you at all times?......................................................

What relationship are they to you?..............................................................

Do you have any particular needs? Religious, dietary or disability

requirements:...........................................................................................

...............................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................

Where would you like to birth your baby?....................................................

Induction

I trust my baby knows exactly when they want to be born & I am happy not to be induced.

I would like to be consulted before any kind of induction takes place.

I do not want my cervix swept during an examination unless told otherwise.

I would like to try natural methods to encourage my baby to be born.

I am happy to be induced after 10 days.

I am happy to use medical induction such as Sweep/Pessary/Breaking waters/Hormone Drip.

1st Stage

I would like to remain at home for as long as I feel comfortable.

I would like to be attended by the community midwife at home.

I would like to attend the hospital/midwife led unit as early as possible.

During labour

I would like my birth partner / husband /partner / doula / friend / children to be present.

I would like my privacy and dignity to be respected at all times / no unnecessary people to be in attendance/no trainees.

I would like to remain as active as possible, finding the best positions for myself and changing these as I wish. Standing, pacing, circle hip rotation, kneeling, on all fours, squatting, in bed, use the birthing ball.

I would like to use the birthing yoga moves I have learnt.

I would like to use the birthing breath.

I would like to rest between contractions where possible.

I would like talking to be kept to a minimum.

I would like low lighting.

I would like this music to be played.....................................................................

I would like monitoring of the baby to be kept to a minimum unless there is cause for concern.

I would prefer hand held monitors to be used.

I would like any proposed intervention e.g. breaking waters, acceleration, ventouse, to be explained and discussed first, and ideally to be kept to a minimum.

I would like information about any proposed medication before receiving it, including the purpose, potential side effects on me / the baby and options on timing e.g. before or after the baby is born.

Pain Relief

I would like to use my birthing breath and yoga moves.

I plan to use an ‘all fours’ / hip circling/ pacing / child’s pose/ different position to help with pain relief.

I would like to use water/ bath/ birth pool I wish to use for 1st / 2nd stage.

I would like to use TENS machine/gas and air/ massage/ homeopathic pain relief / pethidine/epidural.

Advice will be welcome, and I am open to considering other pain relief options if necessary.

Transition

I wish to be very centred on myself at this stage and to have no intrusion.

Talking to a minimum.

Gentle support and firm guidance will be appreciated.

Information on progress will be helpful.

I will probably be in an all fours / upright / semi reclining position.

2nd Stage

I would like to find my own comfortable position for pushing. This is likely to be an all fours / upright / semi reclining / position especially if things are progressing quickly.

I wish to know when the head is crowning.

I wish to feel the baby’s head / see it in a mirror.

I will appreciate firm advice and guidance at this time to guard against too quick a delivery giving the perineum time to fan out thus (hopefully) preventing a tear.

We plan to take photographs / video the birth.

Tears

I hope to avoid this and will appreciate support to adopt positions to minimise tears. If one occurs I would prefer not to be stitched unless it is essential to healing / I prefer to be stitched.

I do not wish to have an episiotomy unless vital and I or my partner agree / I prefer an episiotomy to a tear/ I prefer tearing to an episiotomy.

If stitching is necessary I do want a local anaesthetic to be well administered prior to stitching.

Delivery

I would like my birth partner/doctor/midwife/myself to deliver my baby.

I wish my baby to be delivered onto my tummy.

I wish to hold my baby straight away.

I wish for the baby to be washed and then given to me.

We would like to discover the sex of our baby ourselves/I would like to be told immediately.

I wish the cord to remain attached until it stops pulsating.

I wish the cord to be attached until the placenta has been delivered.

I would like to have a lotus birth so please keep the placenta attached to my baby.

My partner would like/not like to cut the cord.

I would like skin to skin.

I wish/do not wish my baby to suckle to encourage 3rd Stage.

3rd Stage - Delivering the Placenta

I wish to have an actively managed 3rd stage / I wish to deliver the placenta physiologically.

I only wish cord traction to be used if syntometrine has been administered.

If there are signs of haemorrhage then I will have IV ergometrine as necessary.

I would like to hold my baby immediately / I would like the baby to be washed first.

I would like our baby to stay with one of us at all times.

I would like to be left alone with my baby.

I would like conversation kept to a minimum.

I would like to see my placenta and have it explained to us.

I would like my placenta to come home with us.

I would like my placenta go to medical research.

I would like my placenta to be disposed of for me.

Vitamin K

We do / do not consent to Vitamin K injection.

We would like it orally/by injection.

Multiple birth –

We would like both/all of the babies to be taken to special care together / If one baby needs special care and the other(s) don’t we would like the well baby(ies) to stay with me until we leave.

Feeding

I wish to breastfeed as soon as is appropriate.

I would welcome the help and support to breastfeed.

I wish to bottle feed as soon as appropriate.

Emergencies

I or my birth partner / doula / friend will discuss all eventualities and make decisions as and when they arise. Please share any concerns with us as soon as they arise. It will help us to know the answers to these questions:

1. What is wrong?

2. What do you suggest and why?

3. What would be the possible outcomes/benefits/risks with this intervention?

4. What happens if we do nothing?

5. Are there any alternatives?

6. How much time do we have to make a decision?

We want a healthy and happy baby and mother and so we will be guided by balanced, informative advice.

Unexpected Situations

In the event that assisted delivery is necessary I prefer ventouse/forceps.

In the event that a caesarean section is necessary I would like to have a spinal / general anaesthetic.

In the event of a c-section the person to come with me to theatre is..............................

I would like skin to skin happen with.........................................................until I am ready to take over.

I do/do not wish my baby to be cleaned before I meet them.

I intend to breastfeed my baby so no milk supplements.

I am happy for my baby to be given milk supplements until I can breastfeed.

I would like to be consulted if my baby needs to go to special care.

In the event my baby needs to go to the special care unit then they will be accompanied by................................................................................

In the post-natal ward

We do not want our baby to be given any artificial milk.

I intend to bottle feed on demand / I intend to breastfeed on demand.

I would like our baby with me at all times unless I request otherwise

I would like to be present for any paediatric examinations/ the hip test

I would like to be present when our baby has a nappy change or bath

We would like our other children to visit as soon as possible after the birth I would like to be consulted as to when I should be discharged from hospital

Any Other Comments:

I do/do not wish students observing or helping

This is a sample birth plan and should be adjusted to meet the needs of each individual couple. If you think you may have a c-section then please have a look at the C-Section birthing Wish List and amend this as you see fit.

Remember, “Everything has a place” and while we can account and make plans for almost all of our life when it comes to birth there comes a time when we simply have to let go and surrender. Please reach out if you need to, to the other ladies in our group or to myself Trish or my sister Clare, we are here to help.

And we would love to celebrate you and your little one so if you would like to share a pic and your birth story in our private group then please do.

All the best x